The first case I had as a young Candidate Attorney at Legal Aid SA happened to be a divorce. It was the first of many and thereafter I had gained enough experiences in obtaining a decree of divorce with the occasional squabble over a room divider...
After my admission I found that my clients now had a longer way to court as their disputes were over far more than just a room divider.
Between 2008 and now the common law regarding divorce matters have changed a lot. Much of the advice you get from your aunt or your father's friend at the braai is likely to be outdated.
So- let me warn you about a couple of these changes in advance before you come to me:
1. Adultery no longer affects division of the joint estate:
Your parents may remember a time when it mattered a lot who had left the matrimonial home or whose eyes (or other body parts) started wandering first. Now, however, it no longer matters. Our Courts no longer deem it necessary to penalise a party to a marriage for her loss of love for her spouse.
In fact- our Courts no longer wish to blame either party for the breaking down of a marital relationship.
We already know that law in our society is viewed separate from morality and that our courts are concerned with upholding law- not morality...
2. You cannot stop your spouse's new partner from meeting your children
Seriously- you need to get over yourself if you are a man whose minor children are now living with your former spouse. The mother of your children is no longer your wife and she is most likely going to meet someone else and start living with him.
And divorved ladies- It is not the end of the world if your children get a kind stepmother instead of a wicked one...
Get over it!
If you really do not want your children to be alienated from you- there are ways to prevent that. You mainly have to be a reasonable parent...
3. The Divorce Court has no obligation to help you maintain any kind of lifestyle
Sure- The Court- and your lawyer- will try as far as possible to help you be maintained as close to the standard of living to which you have become accustomed during your years of marriage, but-
Do bear in mind that your maintenance is limited by the actual means of your soon-to-be former spouse and that your joint income shall now be split between two separate households...
4. The one with the most money does not necessarily win
Did you know that you can actually get a court order to get your spouse to contribute to your legal costs?
This mechanism was devised by our legislature to enable parties in divorce actions to litigate on equal footing...
5. A parenting plan does not give any parent the right to be disrespectful toward another
Your ex husband's lawyer may not agree with me, but if your ex is abusive toward you everytime he shows up to fetch the kids for the weekend he can be barred with a protection order from coming to your house again until he has learnt to behave properly. No child needs to spend a weekend with a toxic father anyway...
Lastly- divorces do not always have to be acrimonious or stressful. If you feel like handling your divorce is an insurmountable task you should really contact me. In fact- contact me even before you try to handle it by yourself...
